The Reaper's Instinct

 

The Reaper’s Instinct

         I learned how to survive from the Satan when I was 3 years old.  Before that  year, the doctor found a  2.5 mm hole in my heart that I had since I was born. So I needed to be followed up every 6 months to see whether the hole closed by itself or it was expanded. The doctor then recommended I exercise my body to strengthen my heart. I chose to swim or Aquatic Therapy, although it was very hard, boring, and very scary.  It changed my normal life to a life I have to swim every day. One day I got the experience of overcoming near death. Anyone who thinks that living a normal life is pure happiness has never tried overcoming close to death experience. Overcoming close to death challenge isn’t scary, it’s the happiness that I have never felt. I learned from my difficult near-death experience that is essential to living a fulfilling and successful life.

At first, my life was normal and I was weak, talkative, and repeat doing the same routine. My life was very regular and happy. Every day I would just have to sleep in my bed and my parents would just bring me downstairs to eat breakfast, then I would go play in the garden and just end my day with storytelling from my mom before sleeping. Nothing was special and my life was very convenient. That time I felt like everything was easy for me. The world was very small. The place I went was just upstairs and downstairs. Kids need to go to health check-ups at least every 6 months. When I was 2 years old, the doctor said that while he was checking my heart and there was music in it. That sounds good, but he asked me to see the specialist. I need to exercise my body to strengthen my heart. I had Atrial Septal Defect in my heart as the size of lightning in a bottle. The doctor said to exercise a lot if after the follow-up show that it’s not better they would do surgery. I live like this in my way every day until the first challenge in my life came in. This challenge was very unique from others, and it was risky like chugging a whiskey.

 You have to overcome near death challenges so you become fearless in everything, because no one was going to help you in that situation except your mind. You have two choices, swimming to the edge of the swimming pool or drowning. After I passed two weeks of the swimming course, I can float on water. Then, my coach, the former Thai national swimmer who has a lot of scars on his muscle, not a single smile on his face, and he would always use irresistible perfume, assigned me to swim across 25m of length and 3m depth of the swimming pool. I was only 60cm tall so I couldn’t stand in the pool. When I entered this public swimming pool, I saw another coach hitting his students’ butt with a long sharp cane. I told myself that I was very lucky not to be his student. After I warmed up, my coach pushed me into the pool and immediately I could taste the bitterness and kind of metallic chlorine, and then I had to start swimming or drown. A lot of teenagers stared at and ridiculed me. They might think I was a duck swimming in the unfamiliar pond. I questioned whether my coach or the other one was crueler. It was very tough for me because the waves are very strong and my legs start to get weaker and weaker. Then, when I reached almost halfway and I stopped, so my leg could rest from the cramps, but suddenly I felt like something is pulling me down then I have to choose from 2 choices, the first one is to stop swimming there and drown expecting someone to help me, whereas, the second choice was to try and paddle to the other side of the swimming pool. In the situation of swimming a 25 m standard swimming pool would take on average of 20-25 seconds but in my situation, it felt like an eternity that I passed through heaven and hell 1000 times, and Brock, Brock I heard like my leg muscle dislocating while was trying to scramble and reach the other side of the swimming pool. I tried to paddle up with my weak and cramped legs though I felt that I wasn’t moving any forward. I tried so hard and I finally reached the other side where the coach was waiting there. I was very tired but I felt like I overcame my life limit though my legs were very weak. I expected to get complimentary words like excellent, awesome but his words were shocking me. I would never forget. Passing through a near-death challenge would feel difficult but once you get used to it, nothing will be able to scare you. After you have overcome the life-risking experience you would master a new skill in return.

 You have to risk your life to master a skill by learning “Something New” because learning new things guides you to a successful life. When I overcame my near-death challenge, it makes me fearless in any situation. When I face hard times, I always think about this situation. After that, I played obstacle courses/ parkour running. Four years later, I was copying Navy SEAL flip training. I flipped. Poke, Poke! my chin hit the edge of the swimming pool, and then I was looking at my mom with my drowsy eyes. The watercolor and taste changed into bloody red from glaucous color, and the taste changed from metallic and bitter into the sweet taste of my blood. I was stitched 3 needles. When I was 10 years old, I rode my bicycle at my fastest speed, but it suddenly brakes and my calves were cut open, so I was rushed to the hospital. They stitched 7 needles. I am a total of 10 needles boy. I have never cried again, and vigorous discipline was a byproduct. I wasn’t scared of going to school. For my vigorous discipline resulting all of the assignments are turned in on time and rarely late. I always wake up before the crock crows. I felt like an alarm clock in my head that woke me up when I wanted to. When I went on field trips, I wanted it to be 5:00 am but I woke up at 4:00 and I arrived at school at 6:00. A morning routine is like I wake up at 5:00 exactly every morning and if I am in the military I would be ensured to be assigned as Sentry in the forest. I could reset the clock in my head to stay up the whole night to complete my assignment before the due date, and it assists me to organize my daily life. Thank you God for giving me ASD, it led me to a successful life and I will continue my journey.

 At a point in life, to have happiness and earn a strong sense of achievement, going through challenging, or even near-death experiences is critical. You have to try to overcome your close-to-death limit and at first, you would feel scared and underestimate yourself, but once you passed it everything else will feel like nothing. In the beginning, my life was normal and I was weak, talkative, and repeat doing the same routine.  After this situation, I have never cried again, vigorous discipline was a byproduct. In addition, I am even eager to risk my life to master a skill by learning “Something new” because learning new things guides you to a successful life.  This undeletable moment reminds me that nothing is difficult and everything is possible. “It’s not I change a lot, it’s a lot change me.”